2.22.2018

therapy for divergent kids, or just let them be?

Rather than thinking "let them be" on the one hand and "therapy" on the other, it can help to think in terms of what you can do to make their lives easier right now - easier by their standards. That usually doesn't mean getting them to perform more neurotypcially, but rather embracing them as they are and looking for ways to improve their home environment and help them navigate the world to the extent they desire right now.

The idea of making things easier on kids can be kind of startling! The common parenting mythology is that kids need to be pushed "or they'll never do anything difficult" - and it's pure garbage If your kids play video games, then you've probably already Seen them work super hard, doing things that are tedious and difficult, to meet some rather esoteric goals. And that same drive will extend to other things when your kids are ready to do that - it just may not look like other kids, or be in lockstep with the standardized timetable.

Sometimes making things easier can mean looking for lessons or therapy - same as with adults! But often it means looking at the ways our expectations for kids don't line up with their real needs and wants and wishes, and looking for ways to adapt, ways to help them solve the problems They see.

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